So I went to the Thespian meeting today. I had much fun. It wasn't nearly as entertaining as other thespian meetings, but Lauren had her new script with her. It's Lord of the Rings; Two Towers, but she butchered it to death by making it funny. And it IS funny. She's got Mrs. Thetard as the Coffee Fetcher (as revenge of course) and J-Palm as the arrogant dwarf Gimli. I'm stage manager, off-stage voice, and rampaging Aragorn fan. I get to scream fuck and comfort Will/Saruman when the stupid main character steal his scene. She hates Frodo, so she killed him off and replaced him with Kiri, who is now a courageous hobbit who kills Ben Johnson/Gollum. Tres funny. I laughed very hard, and I think Mrs. Thetard got pissed at me. I've got nothing much to write now. It was a very boring day. My algebra test was rescheduled, much to my surprise and delight. I killed a solo in Chorus and I'm never singing alone in class again outside of a joke or something. I got a hold of a "script" written by someone I despise, and I'm going to alter it a bit and make it porno then give it back to him and tell him what a sicko he is. I swear, if it goes to plan, I can die happy. Katie 4:12 PM
Sorry about the lack of a place to comment. I made a mistake whence trying to fix my template and deleted my master account. So I've got no way to fix anything, not even the template. If I get the nerve to try this again, I'm going to create a new blog like this one as a replacement, and see if I can get everything up and running again. Katie 12:48 AM
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Oi. So it seems as though my blog has acquired fans. How wierd is that? I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I am with it, however, with a few small changes, things can go in another direction. I may create a new one all together. We'll just see. However, newbs, give me a hollar, so I can keep a headcount and see what changes I have to make. Katie 9:27 PM
Sunday, January 12, 2003
*Sigh* Lately I've been hanging around with people who are "love-starved", and it's starting to rub off on me. I've heard from three different people that they are sick of being alone, and wish they had someone (of the romantic genre) to talk to and hug and kiss. Now I'm starting to feel lonely again, too. I hate it when that happens. I'm so impressionable, and it's times like this I really regret my... impressionability. All those old feelings are starting to resurface, after I've repressed them for so many months. *I'm afraid I'll be alone forever and never have a special "someone." What if I never fall in love, get married, and have a family? Who will be there when I grow old and finally die? What if I'm not attractive enough to have a boyfriend? Am I an inadequate person?* And upon talking to another person about self-worth, I realize I don't know myself very well. I won't let myself think about who I really am, and thus I start to lose who I was. I've been lying to myself. I'm uncomfortable with the person I think I am, so no wonder I can't sleep at night. I toss and turn and think about all the things I've done wrong over the course of the day, and what people think of me because of my actions. Now I wonder how I can go about finding myself and being comfortable with allowing that person out for a breath of fresh air. And I worry that people can see through my mask. I mean, I was fooling myself, but perhaps others are more perceptive than I am. The question is, if people CAN in fact see through my front, what do they see inside? Or am I hollow?
I've really got to get some different people to talk to. Katie 9:03 PM
Saturday, January 11, 2003
This weekend I went to Theatre Fest. It was incredibly fun at some times, and incredibly not at others. I thoroughly enjoyed the van ride there, aside from the scary salad I got at McDonalds. (I still can't believe I supported them. I'm a bad person.) I also enjoyed laying around and eating pizza in the hotel room. We watched Tony, Rob, Liz, and Megan practice for their auditions. Rob was fantastic as always, as was Liz. I noticed an enormous improvement in Liz's dramatic monologue. When she performed it for our class, she was good. When she performed for all of us Thursday night, it brought tears to my eyes. Tony did a Rev. Moore monologue from Footloose. I kept thinking, "Why didn't he do this during the show?" I mean, he was *actually* Shaw Moore. I don't know what changed. It was just... so good. Megan's portfolio was unbelieveable. Her designs and such were so good. She inspired me to start collecting bits and pieces of my prompt books and things for a portfolio. I suppose all of their auditions went well, because Megan got nine callbacks from colleges, and I think the count was pretty close for the rest. We went to a Chinese buffet for dinner. I saw Jen again. It was good to see her again. It seems as though she's doing well with college. We also had a contest to see who got the best fortune cookie fortune. (By adding "in bed" to it, of course.) Jen won. Hers said, "Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle...in bed." I saw The Laramie Project on Friday. It was about Matthew Shepherd, the gay boy who was beat to death by a couple of guys his age. It was VERY good. I cried numerous times. I also saw MacBeth, the All State show. I didn't understand it because I kept falling asleep, as it was very warm. But the actors were sooo good, as were the lights. I also went to two stage managment workshops. I took lots of notes. I went to a few other workshops, but they weren't noteworthy or blogworthy. I went to Rumors today. It was good, but it wasn't as good as everyone told me it was. The acting was good, but not outstanding. The set was really cool, as were the costumes. But I've decided I'm not a huge fan of Neil Simon (the author). *Sigh* I think I'll write more tomorrow, but right now I'm really tired. Katie 8:00 PM
Sunday, January 05, 2003
What have I been doing since New Years? Reading, watching the Bachelor, and working on an argument about the validity of using the human mind as justification for any given principle, idea, tool, etc. I'm going to post it because I have nothing better to do. It needs work, (lots and LOTS of work) but I think it could eventually be a very good counterargument for a guy I've been debating online.
Our beloved Matt here started out this string by asking us a rather simple, yet seemingly very good question. I'm going to reword it, because he really didn't need to make it so complicated. (Although I still maintain he was using big words [and lots of them] to attempt to confuse people.) He asked, "How do you justify any given idea or tool?"
Many of us on the side I'm going to call the Protagonist Team, for lack of a better term, attempted to explain "the standard" we use. Our justification was the mind.
Matty here, on the other hand, refuted this justification by proposing that the mind is fallible. I'm going to completely disregard any mention of finity for now, because it seems irrelevant. Everything is finite, excluding supreme beings, not specifically the Christian God.
Of course, everyone agreed. People make mistakes. (I mean, they agreed on this. It wasn't a mistake to agree... although some would disagree with statement. *Wink.*) It is inevitable. However, the humans that will pass along reliable DNA are the humans who learn from their mistakes. Learning from mistakes doesn't make the mind any less fallible, only more reliable. (Matt, good buddy, don't even TRY to prove that one wrong. Reliability and fallibility are completely different. Related, but not dependent.)
So, back to the initial argument. Can this reliability be used to justify "any given principle, tool, or view?" Yes, it can.
Say a teenaged girl has her first boyfriend, and he tricks her into having sex with him. Even though they used protection, he gets her pregnant. She has an abortion and everything returns to normal. Our young girl made a mistake. Her mind was fallible. However, in making that mistake and recognizing the consequences of the action, she learned a valuable lesson, and will not make the same mistake again. Her brain has made a reliable conclusion, but it is not without it's flaws. The same girl previously decided to never have sexual intercourse again until she is married or at least ready to have a child. However, she decides that perhaps she could still engage in oral sex to compensate the loss of one of her new favorite pastimes. She gets a new boyfriend and they exchange, *ahem*, oral pleasures. What this new boyfriend did not tell her was that he had genital warts. Our little test subject now has genital warts in her mouth. She gets treated and it's been months since she's had a breakout. She swears off all kinds of sexual activities (excluding kissing) until marriage. Her brain recognized the fallibilities of it's previous decision, felt the consequences of the loophole, revised it, and formed a new conclusion. By recognizing mistakes in ideas formed and changing them to try a new plan, her brain has gained experience. Experience equals reliability, but keep in mind that it is still no less prone to mistakes than it was before. Our young girl made a mistake, and now has reliable experience which justifies most decisions made in the same area. She has just proven that reliability can justify an idea or tool.
Now to bring religion/theistic ideas into the mix. Matt mentioned that because the human mind is finite (does not exist for ever) and fallible. He also said that because God is infinite, he is infallible.
Let me point out that the human mind is not fallible because it is finite. The two are COMPLETELY unrelated. Here are the definitions according to this handy online Dictionary:
Main Entry: fi·nite
Pronunciation: 'fI-"nIt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English finit, from Latin finitus, past participle of finire
Date: 15th century
1 a : having definite or definable limits b : having a limited nature or existence Main Entry: fal·li·bil·i·ty
Pronunciation: "fa-l&-'bi-l&-tE
Function: noun
Date: 1634
: liability to err
Matt was incorrect in concluding that because the human mind is finite, it is fallible. Therefore, his statement regarding God was incorrect. The Christian God is believed to be both infinite and infallible, yes. However, God is not infallible because of his infinity.
I'm going to start this argument off by looking at it through an atheist's eyes. Most atheists believe that God is an idea created by man. Because it's now well-accepted that the mind is fallible, then God (the idea) must have some fallibility somewhere. I'm not claiming to know what that is, but it's got to be there somewhere. Now, a Christian would say that God is infallible because the Bible says so. Still standing in the atheist's place, the Bible was written by man, inspired by the now fallible idea of God. The Word of God (being the Bible) is now flawed because it was written and inspired by two fallible sources.
Now let's switch paradigms. A Christian needs help with a problem, so they turn to God. God gives them an answer, and the person makes a decision using the best judgment they can based on the advice God gave them. But because God never gives you a straight-out answer (He wants you to learn, right?), they made the wrong decision and suffered the consequences. God is still infallible in Himself, but the fallibility of the human far exceeds the infallibility of God, thus making God unreliable for making decisions.
In conclusion, God can be used to justify a deciding factor in a decision, but cannot be used to justify the decision itself. He can/will only inspire, he cannot/will not create. The only FINAL justification for an idea, view, tool, action, etc. is the mind, it's experiences, it's reliability, and it's ability to produce an effective idea or tool with minimal negative consequences.
See, it makes *some* sense. To me at least... gah. I'm so dumb. Not to mention a dork. I worked for two days on that thing and I've gotten nowhere. I was trying to justify the use of the human mind in... well... justification of decisions (it was a bit more complex than that, but you'd have to read the string) looking at it from different points of view. Nonreligious, atheistic, and theistic. (Specifically Christian, since that was the specific religion he was trying to prove.) It's really not ordered well and probably not very logical, but I'm doing my best. I don't know if it'll ever be ready to use. *Sigh* I'm so dumb. Katie 1:07 AM
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Just curious- has anyone seen my Sims Livin' Large? I may have loaned it out at some point and I'm curious as to where it went. Katie 5:58 PM
(Why hasn't anyone updated their journals? And there's still a huge lack of commentage. I have to say, I'm disappointed in all of you.)
I was very sick all of yesterday. I spent all sunday night (monday morning) throwing up in the bathroom. I didn't get to sleep until about five, and slept until eight. Then I woke up and took a series of naps on and off through the day and finally went to sleep until this morning at about five-thirty. I was getting really angry because I was supposed to go to my friend's house and watch lots of movies. But nooooo. I had to get sick. Isn't that just the way?
The trip to the Ozarks was fun. Tiffany's brother was insanely annoying, but what can you do? I couldn't believe my luck. There were soo many hot guys. The absolute highlight was when we were watching movies with seven of the hottest guys in the state. I could have died! Yes, call me Ms. Estrogen.
I have no plans for New Years. *Sigh* Oh well. I don't need to do anything like that tonight, 'specially after being sick. But, in case anyone reads this withi the next few hours, I *would* enjoy visitors on their way to various parties.
I'm watching Men in Black II with my brother. Has it come to this? Katie 10:33 AM
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
It's amazing how fast things can change. It seems like last year I was running around in little frilly dresses with my cousins passing the time until we could open presents. We would play with the puzzles and games that my grandma kept in the guest-room closet. When it came time to open presents, we would rush over to Aunt Jo's next door and crowd around the bottom of the tree and suffer through waves of pictures and poking and proding. Now... now it's so different... I can't stand my cousins anymore. It gets worse every year... we all get there, and all the kids sit silently eating their snacks on the living room floor. Then my brother passes out the presents, we open them according to age (youngest to oldest), fake smiles and thank yous, then leave. We're there for maybe two hours, tops. I'm losing touch with my family. My uncles are as close as ever, telling dirty jokes and telling the same stories that we've heard for years. My aunts are close too. They sit together in the kitchen laughing and gossipping about the celebrities and family members. Rebecca, Marita, Elise, Melissa, and Kelly lock themselves in Rebecca's bedroom and talk. I'm invited, but I don't go very often. I know what they talk about. Boys, make-up, plucking various parts of the body, and their friends. It's all the same. I hear the same thing every time: nothing changes but the names. They're absolutely intolerable. Not just because of what they talk about, but about the people they've become. Elise hates everything, her mom, her dad, her dad's girlfriend and her daughter, her family, her friends, her life. She purposefully ruined her father's engagement because she didn't like Lisa's daughter, Corrine. She ODed on nasal spray just because she thought she wasn't getting enough attention around the house (This is self-declared, not a parental diagnosis). She's rude, she drinks, she does drugs, and has A LOT of sex. She's only a few months older than I am. Her twin, Melissa, isn't nearly as bad as Elise is, but does a lot of the same stuff so Elise won't leave her behind. Marita hates her life as well, and is moving to Vegas in January because she hates her dad. I went to her room at her mom's house. It smells like weed and she has syringes and a stack of condoms in the corner. Rebecca, Marita's stepsister, is almost the same as Marita is, though a little less wreckless. She's also impossibly vain. I've never seen anyone put on makeup to go to bed before. Kelly's an idiot. She's so smart, but really doesn't use it for anything other than trying to figure out excuses to get out of school, punishment, work, etc. The third generation of my family is completely falling apart, and it scares the shit out of me. I'm never going to see Marita again, Elise is killing herself and her sister, Kelly's going to wind up married to an asshole, living in a shithole, and eternally pregnant. Now I really feel left behind. I'm the only one of the grandkids who seems to realize how badly things have been going since Grandma died. Or maybe I'm the only one of the grandkids who has failed to grow up. Whichever it is, I don't like it. Change is an inevitable monster, leaving the destruction of uncertainty in it's path.
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower,
But only so an hour;
Then leaf subsides to leaf-
So Eden sank to grief,
So Dawn goes down to Day,
Nothing gold can stay.
Where the hell is everyone?! Comment, for the love of GOD!
I hate it when everything gets over on Christmas Eve. The anticipation is half the fun. We opened our presents tonight. I got a Mizzou sweatshirt, a wooden plaque that says "drama queen", and a Paul McCartney "back in the u.s." cd. It's so good. Right now, I'm listening to Blackbird. Such a pretty song. I think I'm going to start collecting Beatles albums. I should have started a long time ago. "Blackbird singin' in the dead of night..."
Oh yeah, apparently I have road rage. Some girl cut us off in heavy traffic yesterday, and gave us the finger, so I gave it back. It turned out she was going to the same neighborhood we were. She turned left at a street we were turning right, so we pulled up right next to her. I rolled down my window and screamed, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, JACKASS!" at the top of my lungs. I wasn't even driving. Whoo, I'm gonna have fun when I get my liscense. *Wink*
Yes, it's been a good day.
COMMENT! Katie 10:06 PM
This morning was quite possibly the world’s most perfect morning. I woke up at 9:30 and noticed the curtains were wide open. I looked outside and saw that it was snowing. There was a light blanket of perfect snow- you know, how it looks before kids have started making snow angels and snowmen. I got a shower and came downstairs, and mom handed me a hot molasses cookie and a glass of milk; my favorite Christmas snack. Every year my dad makes them for the Karl family Christmas party. It’s the only time of the year I get them. Then I helped my aunt Cindy make an apple pie and lots of dips for crackers. After the pie was done, I sat down and watched the Santa Clause with Tim Allen. The highlight of the morning had to be eating my hot molasses cookie and milk watching the snow fall.
I love Christmas. I’m in such a Christmassy mood. Katie 1:41 PM
Sunday, December 22, 2002
I went to see Lord of the Rings the Two Towers last night. It was REALLY good. Megan was right- it was soooo beautiful! Gollum was done really well, and I was especially pleased with his schizo scene. I laughed so hard I was in tears. The guy next to me was really annoying. He kept making fun of the movie and how poorly done some of the green-screens were. He laughed when people died. I didn't like him one bit. Then we went back to Tiffany's house and watched the Others, which was good as well. We were going to watch another scary movie (Can't remember which), but we fell asleep. All in all, it was a lot of fun. We had lots of soda and candy. I accidently ate a coconut Nestle treasure, and I gagged on it. I hate coconut.
Mmm... I'm watching this television show about a P.O.W. camp in Japan. Some guy is talking about burning the bodies of the dead prisoners. He said that at his first burning, he threw a body on the burning heap and watched it. It sat up, twisted around, and "looked" at him. I don't think I want to watch this television show anymore. *Shivers* I think I need a hug. Katie 8:37 PM
Saturday, December 21, 2002
Final Exams Grades:
Spanish: Listening- 80%, Reading comprehension and vocabulary- TBA
Intro to Theatre: 78%
U.S. Studies: TBA
Chemistry: 77%
Algebra: 74%
I did very badly on all my tests. I wasn't prepared enough at all. Or I didn't get enough sleep. Or maybe it was too much caffeine... I dunno. Doesn't matter. Point is, I'm not terribly pleased. Correction: I'm very proud of my chemistry test grade... I'm at a 79.69% in the class which is a B if I say it's a B... I hope she rounds up on my report card so then I can have a shot at honor role back. Went to Liz Anhalt's Madrial Party. It was mucho fun. We went caroling at the Baby Fold and a nursing home. The nursing home was the best because this old lady told Liz, "This is my hudredth Christmas, and you all made it happy." Isn't that just... cryful? Which can be good or bad... Then we went caroling at a few houses. We couldn't manage to get Deck the Hall in 7/8 in tune, and I think Corpus was making fun of us. No, no... I KNOW she was making fun of us. Afterwards, we went back to the Anhalts, drank hot chocolate and sang and did our white elephant gifts. Which reminds me! Megan! I forgot to pick up my gift from you off the bed when I left! Sorry!! I'll get it back somehow. I promise! Anyway. Rob got a plastic twinkie kid with a twinkie inside, which, as expected, lead to a great many jokes.
Tomorrow, I'm sleeping in for a LOOOONG time. I'm beginning to miss sleep, so I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow evening, I'm doing my family Christmas, then going to see LotR with Tiffany, Bobbitt, Emma, and Sarah J., then we're having a sleepover at Tiffany's (excluding Bobbitt). I'm excited. I haven't seen Sarah in forever. Sunday's clear. Monday, I leave for Missouri and don't return until the 29th. I'm still looking for something to do on New Years....
Anyway, since I'm in the Christmas spirit at the moment... Merry Christmas everyone!
Katie Katie 1:27 AM
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
I'm starting to get into the habit of getting out of PE again. But this week is justified. It's *finals*! I really do study... just... after I finish doing things that I want to do. Like blogging, for instance... and checking other peoples.
Sooooo... things haven't gone according to plan this week. I've spent the last two nights after school typing notes for U.S. studies. Monday night, I got two of the six chapters done for U.S. studies. It seems chapters two and four are longer than I thought. Tuesday night, I finished chapter one, and typed chapter six and half of seven. Chapter one is REALLY long. Five sections, and each of the sections is about twelve pages. They covered everything from ancient peoples moving into north and south America across the land bridge to the Crusades, the Portuguese slave trading, the Spanish Armada, and Christopher Columbus. I think they were trying to cover everything we learned in World Studies in a chapter. About halfway into section three, I realized I had learned everything already, and gave up. About two in the morning, my hands were starting to hurt really bad, and I had to stop. I rested for about fifteen minutes and tried to drink some hot cocoa, but my hands kept spasming. I spilled the hot cocoa twice before it was low enough to stay in the cup. Then I studied Intro to Theatre until 3:15, then decided to call it quits. But of course, the caffeine from the cocoa kept me awake, so I listened to my hypnotism cd, which got me drowzy enough to sleep. The last time I remember seeing on my clock is 3:52. Not bad. Now I'm about to start chapter eleven for U.S. studies. I figure I should probably get that done first, in case I decide to quit with the notes, because I haven't covered that chapter at all this year. I can wing the other one and a half.
Oh yeah, David gave me a six-pack of doubleshots for Christmas, and one doubleshot from Aaron. That oughta last me until Thursday night. Yeehaw. Oh, and I also got a pretty bracelet, a cool pen and matching box, and a Voodoo Doll (A love voodoo doll... watch out boys!) from Katie, and a REALLY pretty journal and gorgeous necklace from Alyssa. I love Christmas. I actually enjoy *giving* things rather than getting them, because I then I get to watch people open them. I don't like it when they don't like their gifts, though. Not that it's ever happened to me before......... Katie 9:45 AM
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
I strongly object to the Y-chromasome. Whoever invented it should have things thrown at them.
Prince Charming cheated on Cinderella with Snow White... or a dwarf... I've yet to figure out which... anyway, I've lost all faith in boys for the moment. If Prince Charming can't even be faithful to someone like Cinderella, what the hell are the other boys doing? I've figured out what happens after "Happily Ever After" has been said.
*Storms off*
Oh yeah, Bernadette Peters is a goddess. Katie 11:27 PM
Monday, December 16, 2002
Whoo. I didn't think relief was possible in the weeks leading up to finals. But I found it today. I'm not really worried about them anymore. The biggest thing I have to accomplish between now and Thursday is getting my U.S. Studies notes together (We get to use them on the test... I'm rewriting the entire book.) Other than that, all I can do for every other class besides chemistry is review. The reason I'm so relieved is my schedule for Friday is suddenly very, very empty. I have to be at school at 8:00 to sign in for P.E., then I can just leave... and I don't have to be back until noon, at which point I go to take my Chemistry final. I'm not even going to begin to study for Chemistry until Thursday afternoon unless I suddenly find some free time. It's just so wonderful. To have nothing to do for a whole FOUR hours! Isn't it great? I think I'm in love with Mrs. Corpus. She's so good to us.
So... tonight... type ch. 2, 3, 6-8, and 11 for U.S. Studies. Then depending on what time I finish, I'll either go to bed or just study something else until I have to get up for school. Thank GOD I now have money to buy doubleshots with.
Tuesday night... make spanish notes and review Intro to Theatre.
Wednesday night... finish Algebra cheatsheet and review Spanish.
Thursday night... the last all-nighter I'll have to pull for at least two weeks. I'll be studying chemistry from about 4:00 to whenever I have to get up in the morning. Once again, thank god for money and Energy In A Can. I'll either sleep my free time away or study chemistry from 8:00 to 12:00. Then I take my final, and I'm free at 1:30. Isn't it nice to see an end in sight?
Elated for the moment,
Katie Katie 8:15 PM
Sunday, December 15, 2002
'Twas an odd sort of week. It seemed to drag on forever, yet looking back on it, I can't believe I'm about to start another week. It just went at warp speed. Anyway, I think the only reason I wouldn't admit to myself that I was getting sick this week was so I could stay in the game long enough to audition. The only reason I went to school on Friday was to see the cast list. After the cast list went up, I had no reason to be at school. But I stayed anyway. I'm getting pretty bad about school. I mean, I'm doing fine in all my classes. I'm getting a 79 in Chemistry, which is REALLY good, especially considering the fact that the thought of spending an hour every day in that class makes me want to hurl myself off the nearest skyscraper. I kicked my book on Friday, and Mrs. Ives saw me and thought I was throwing a tempertantrum, and started chastising me in a very condescending sort of way that started to piss me off. I wasn't mad before, but when she finished, I was boiling.
Anywho, I didn't make Midsummer. The cast list brought a very weird mix of emotions. I was happy that I wasn't cast, upset that so many other people were upset, angry about some of the casting decisions Mrs. Thetard made, and for some strange reason, ashamed. I can't figure out WHY I felt ashamed, but there was definately some kind of shame in the mix. The rest of the day was kind of subdued. I cried during Chorus, but I'm not sure why. I just did. I didn't talk during U.S. Studies at all. I felt compelled to kick my book before Chemistry, and did so. Then I BSed a math test and went home, locked myself in my room and read until I went to sleep. I don't remember feeling or thinking anything at all. All concern, care, worry, shame, happiness... anything at all... had vanished.
Saturday I went Christmas shopping. I got pretty much everyone I could think of gifts, then I ran out of money. So I apologize to those who don't get their gifts before Christmas. You'll get them when I get money. Then there were others, such as Steve, Aaron, Seth, and Megan Hannah, that I had no idea what to get for them. If you have suggestions, let me know. Otherwise, you're gettin' jack.
Okay, now I'm really starting to get tired. If this entry made absolutely no sense to you, it's because my thoughts jumped around. I'm preoccupied at the moment, so not everything comes out in a logical order. Perhaps I'll post what I'm really thinking tomorrow. Katie 11:55 PM
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Depressing day. Utterly depressing. Absolutely nothing happened. I got hit in head with a pickleball paddle in PE, and watched Annie Get Your Gun. That was the extent of the excitement for the day. Tiffany *did* get runner-up for the Silent Night solo. I'm very proud of her. I still think either she or Michelle should have gotten it. Michelle had a nice pure voice on the solo, and Tiffany was really powerful during the second part. Kerrie Vesper got it though. I wasn't pleased. U.S. Studies was hella boring. I practiced my audition piece the whole time. In chemistry, I fell asleep again. I've *GOT* to quit doing that. I didn't feel like Christmas shopping after school, so I just walked to Metcalf to get JT. Schini's little sister stopped me in the hallway and asked if "Amanda Donnan REALLY kissed David?" When I said she did, she said, "Oh my god. What a little slut! And I can't believe HE would do that! God!" And stormed off. I laughed really hard for a minute then caught up with her and explained to her that stage kisses don't count, and that she better let him go because he's a.) a junior, while she's only an eighth grader, and b.) he's GOT a girlfriend. It was hysterical. Yes, so anyway, boring day. Tomorrow's the thespian christmas party. Hopefully it will be better than today was. Thursday's my audition for Midsummer. Katie 8:21 PM
Monday, December 09, 2002
I am getting so sick and tired of being in this fucking little shoebox with the people I used to call my family. I can't escape from them. They're everywhere I turn. Or at least the little inbred mutt is. I've been trying to study for finals since last week, and every time I sit down at the computer, he comes and thwaps me with his stupid little duct-taped sword or jumps up and down the steps trying to make noise because he knows I get stressed out when too much is going on. Then I go to my room to study, and here he comes, shooting darts at my door, knocking on the wall with his foot, or playing on his drums, which he just so happened to place against the wall that my room shares with his. So I yell and he does even more obnoxious stuff, and I yell louder. It's a sick circle, and I'm getting tired of it. My patience is worn to the bone because I'm so tired already, and he just keeps picking at me and picking at me. He does it deliberately. Then, of course, my parents take his side. I was at the computer trying to study for my Intro to Theatre final, and he started firing nerf darts at my head, so I threw the gun down the hall. My parents told me that I was being bitchy and destructive, and that he has a right to play. Well, sure, he has a right to play, but why can't he play quietly in his room like normal kids? Does it HAVE to involve tormenting me? For the love of GOD! Get me out of here!!! Katie 8:16 PM
Saturday, December 07, 2002
So the show went really well, and the Antigone cast kicks butt. I screwed up a few light cues, and Alyssa fell and scraped her knee because she couldn't see because the spot wasn't on her, but all in all, we kicked butt. I'm very proud of everyone. After the show, we went to Katie Sebald's house for a few hours. It was pretty fun for a while. Then I accidently ate a pepperoni and got to feeling really pukey. When I got home around midnight, I laid on the bathroom floor for ten minutes and got sick. I'm feeling perfectly fine now. It's the strangest thing. I didn't know that happened to vegetarians who haven't been veggie all their lives. I know it happened to Sarah Kelch, but she was raised organic. Maybe it was something else. I'm not entirely convinced it was the pepperoni, but it's still a wierd coincidence.
I've decided I'm going to do everything in my power to try and get to the Halogen Blue show tomorrow night. One Acts will end around nine or so, then we have to strike, which won't take terribly long. Then I'm going to see if I can find a friend going to the concert and tag along. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! Someone, anyone... take me with you!!! I have to go to this thing, because Seth just *skipped* out on us tonight at the show, and I'm very angry with him. But I also miss him a lot. *Pout* You're a jerk, Seth!
Katie Katie 12:59 AM
Friday, December 06, 2002
Within the next two minutes, I'm going to attempt to tell basically what I'm thinking. Please excuse grammatical errors and missing words. I'm bad at typing in the first place:
First of all, I'm so fucking sick and tired of all this jr. high nonsense. All I've heard lately is "he said, she said," crap, "so and so likes so and so, but she likes someone else," "tell her to tell him that I'm done with our relationship." Why can't people take care of their problems for themselves? Especially those so trivial as what I've heard recently. I'm especially tired of the melodrama. People overexaggerate every little thing that goes wrong in their life, and suddenly they're oh, so depressed "wish they were dead." It's bullshit. I know I'm just as guilty of kindergarden behavior as the next high school person, but, really! Some people just take it WAY over the top.
Next, I HATE MY STAGE MANAGER! He can't do anything... and won't do anything. I asked him to take a scene of blocking notes for me because I missed it from being absent for various reasons. One little scene. That's it. Did he do it? No. I asked him to stay after rehearsal and copy down light cues. Did he do it? No. I TOLD him to stay after school and copy down light cues and learn the ones he has to call for me because I can't see or hear that the actors are ready. Did he do it? No. Did all of these things screw up our run yesterday? Yes. Then, today, I heard Mrs. Thetard talking to the other stage managers about what to do in case of an emergency, and I listened in because Alan wasn't there. I remembered all of the things that needed to be done if something goes wrong, and panicked. So I asked Megan Hannah to be on headset during my show and keep an eye on things for me. When she gets back from dinner, I'm going to give her the light cues I need to be called for me. I know she can do better than Alan.
Yes, so I'm frustrated with, well, a lot right now. But I'm still ecstatic because we're opening tonight. Is it bad that I have an emotional attachment to my show? It's like... my baby... or my niece anyway... it's technically Ms. A's baby. But I love it just the same.
Katie Katie 4:29 PM
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
I know you ALL want to come to this years Winter One Acts on Friday and/or Saturday at 7:00 in Stroud Auditorium. Tickets are five dollars at the door. If you come, I'll make you pie... SETH (specifically). I know I can count on Kellie and Dan coming because they love us so much, right? Of course right. And Tiffany, you're going to come too, and you're going to bring McAlex. Everyone, talk it up with your friends. Perhaps I'll put a duct tape advertisement on the back of my coat and prance around the school and campus Thursday as well. I'm just a smidgen nervous that we're not going to have much of an audience because we haven't solicited tickets to the students in the Lounge. Anyway, Happy Techweek to everyone working on One Acts, and break a leg to the companies of every show. And a HUGE-ARRIFIC THANKS to every single crew member for making these shows possible. TJ, Michelle, Lauren, Pete, Katie, Aaron, Sophie, Megan... all of you. Thanks for being so flexible with all the women directors running around changing their minds. PMS is a plague that effects all of us. Good luck especially to the cast of my show, just because I'm partial like that. You're all awesome and I heart you very much.
Our shining star, Alyssa Huff (Antigone)
The phenomenalactor, Rob Carroll (Creon)
Making his debut performance, Drue Hocker (Haemon)
Perfect for the part, Rebecca Holtzman (Ismene)
The glue that holds the story together (Those damn Canadians), Marion Sakaluk (Chorus)
The biggest buffoon of them all (I'm KIDDING!), Martin Langrall (Jonas)
Letting her hair down after three years, Jessie Bower (Nurse/Page)
And of course, the BEST director of them all, Ms. Angsten (Who doesn't have a first name...)
Great work, you guys. Thanks for such a wonderful time. It's gonna be awesome.
As always, Katie
PS: Can anyone tell that I'm really hyper today? Katie 8:35 PM
Monday, December 02, 2002
Okay, so today I learned I'm not supposed to care. When did this happen? Katie 9:54 PM
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Four hours left of school. Seven hours and fifteen minutes left until I can go home and relax (Well, sort of. Tiffany's coming over to work on our Spanish project, but that's not nearly as bad as being stuck in school...) It's snowing, and all I want to do is go outside and run around in the grass and make footprints in the light dusting of snow before it has a chance to really accumulate. Excluding the wet street and ugly cars driving around, it's really beautiful out. The trees are sprinkled with snowflakes, but I can't see everything because the windows in the library are only a foot wide, and four feet in between. I didn't sleep at all last night (ence the pseudo-poetic style of the preceeding sentances) because I was up doing JT's homework, making notes for U.S. Studies, and studying for Chemistry. I finished U.S. Studies around 11, then went to print it, and I got the blue screen of doom. I lost everything, because I was trying to finish it quickly, and didn't save. So did it again. Except this time it took me over three hours because I got slower and slower as I got more tired... or is it tireder? Anyway, I printed it at two, then went to do my algebra. At three, I remembered I had a chemistry test today, so I studied for that until six, when I got up and took a shower. I didn't finish studying for it, so I'm really going to regret not remembering sooner. Now, here I am- two cups of coffee, a doubleshot, and a vanilla starbucks later, shaking because I need more caffeine. Don't worry, I'll come down tomorrow afternoon, and I'll sleep in the car all the way to Missouri.
On a lighter note, yesterday in intro to theatre, we were discussing a picture Lauren has on her website. It's got a kitten being chased by little gremlin things, and the caption reads, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten." Yeah, so think about that next time you get a little antsy. *Wink wink*
Okay, I'm going to go run around in the snow. I can't take it anymore. It's calling me.
Tired, bipolar, and forever yours,
Katie Katie 11:17 AM
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Ya know? I *would* update more often, except I hardly ever have time during the week. I apologize if people are getting bored with my 'blog... although I doubt I have much of an audience anyway.
So! The other day, I was riding home in the car with my dad, and somehow we got on the topic of American pride and why I don't really have any. I mean, I love my home, but I'm also ashamed of it. We're capital and imperialistic. We shove democracy on countries that can't handle it. My dad completely blew a gasket, told me to bite his ass, then went off on this tangent about how he served in the military and fought for my freedom so I could say those kinds of things without getting my larynx ripped out. He said I'm a hippie and he wants me to move to a different country when I turn 18. It was a funny conversation, but I can't let him know that, or it'll piss him off even more.
I got my china doll slippers today at Other Ports. I also got a really cool handmade hat. I also decided to put cinnomin in my hot chocolate today, and discovered my new favorite thing. It was really good. Okay, I'll stop babbling now. I should do something productive. Or watch movies. Either works. Katie 3:38 PM
Saturday, November 16, 2002
I went to see a play at Central Catholic today. Twisted Fairy Tales or something like that. Let's just say I'll never complain about U-High theatre ever again. The script was cute. The acting was cute. No one was very talented, except for this one girl who played a wolf. She was really good. During Snow White, everyone broke character... badly. Someone forgot a line, and everyone stood there for a few seconds until someone said, "She says something else" and then the girl who forgot her line said, "Oh yeah!... He's really tall!" and they all laughed and had to turn around and stuff. It was bad. Basically, it was over all not a very good show. The set was crap, the acting was crap, the lighting was crap, and the sound was crap. It was cute, almost entertaining, but I'm glad I didn't pay for it. Katie 9:36 PM
Thursday, November 14, 2002
I came home today and found two really cute pairs of pants on my bed with really neat-o belts on them. My mom got them for me. I was so excited and I just *had* to try them on right away. Neither pair fit. I was so mad about gaining weight and going up a pants size that I put them on my mom's bed and slammed my door. I sobbed into my pillow until my mom came in and asked me what was wrong. I told her, and she seemed upset. Apparently, JT had thrown a fit about his clothes too. I felt like the shittiest daughter on earth. I made my mom feel bad. Instead of thanking her for the cool clothes, I threw a fit because they didn't fit. I made her think didn't do well enough. So this made me feel even worse, and I began to sob even harder. Then my dad came in and told me he went to the doctor today. He told me that he's having heart problems and he wants to change something about his life so he can see me graduate college. That made me feel like an even worse daughter. I mean, my dad could be dying for Christ's sake, and all I could think about was myself. God, I feel like such a bad person. Katie 7:26 PM
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
I was running lines with David tonight (He's in As Bees in Honey Drown)and came across one of the best passages I've ever heard: "Oh! Women will see you in this suit and die... gay men will see you in this suit, squeal and die... straight men will see you in this suit, be confused and die... lesbians will inherit the earth!" I thought it was hysterical. I laughed for ten minutes. Yeah. I'm so pathetic. Katie 9:00 PM
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
So I auditioned for one acts yesterday. I thought I did alright, but apparently the directors didn't think so. I didn't get a part, which is fine with me. I mean, yeah, I'm disappointed, but I guess in the back of my mind, I didn't really want to be in a cast as much as I usually do. I didn't cry. I've cried at every failed audition since third grade, and I didn't this time, and I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Instead, to my COMPLETE surprise, I got assistant director of Antigone. I actually *really* wanted to be assistant stage manager or stage manager of one, but Mrs. Thetard says that assistant/student directors at u-high usually do what real stage managers do. I'm a bit pissed off, because Alan Wilkinson (The incompetent sophomore who can't do anything right) got stage manager of Antigone. First of all, I don't want to work with him because he's extremely annoying, and second of all, he can't do ANYTHING. He only knows how to run lights, and he doesn't even do *that* very well. Oh well... perhaps I can teach him to respect schedules, which seems like a skill he has to master, judging from his undependability with light meetings during Footloose. Maybe it won't be so bad. The first meeting is tomorrow, and I'm excited/nervous/anxious/something like that to be getting started. I hate the off season. (*Laughs...* with baseball, the off season is like, eight months. With theatre, it's less than a week.) Leah also got assistant director of one of the shows, but she's not going to accept the position. I think she's being a little bit of a diva about it. She told me, "If they don't give me a part, they don't get me at all." I'm sort of glad she's not going to do anything. I need a Leah break. Too much of her can really start to wear a person's nerves. Justin Palm got assistant director, too. But then I made a passing comment about Madrigals being gone the weekend of the performances, so he's not sure if he can do it anymore. I don't know who's going to fill in for them when they decline the position. Katie Sebald mentioned something about having to give up set head to be an asst. director, but I don't know who else would do it. *Shrug* Everything'll come together tomorrow, right? Katie 3:42 PM
Saturday, November 02, 2002
Last night I was lying on the couch when I got home from TJ's and thinking about the show when I realized how much I really love this assistant stage managing stuff. Sure, I'm not terribly good at it, but I can always improve. It's just a shame it took me this long to realize I was having fun. The entire time, I was so obsessed with not screwing up that I never let myself enjoy it, and now I've only got one more night of it. It's kind of a rush, and even though I don't like bitching at people, it feels good when they listen to me. And I'm getting to the point where I don't dread the headset quite so much, which is quite an accomplishment for me.
This revelation is slightly upsetting for me, because I'm not sure if I'll get another chance to do it. Maybe I'm enjoying it so much because I'm Steve's assistant. I love working for him, but I'm not sure why... I'll figure it out. Any suggestions? Katie 11:14 AM
It seems as though this journal is growing... perhaps it's time for a bit of a change.
